Sarah Vs. Troy. The Real Debate.

The upside of having someone as uninformed as Palin on the Republican ticket is that any one of us can imagine ourselves debating her, and winning!

Here’s what a mini-debate between Palin and me might sound like after this weekend:

Sarah: “I’m reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day… It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. … Now she said it, I didn’t. She said, ‘There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.'”

Troy: Wow, you really are impressive. You managed to scare conservative religious women who were on the verge of thinking for themselves into worrying about their salvation if they don’t vote for you. AND you manage to misquote an elder stateswoman who has more brains in her pinkie finger thumbnail than you do.

What Madame Albright and that Starbucks cup said was “There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t help other women.” See the difference? Since you say Afghanistan is one of America’s neighboring countries, I can’t imagine that you do, so let me spell it out for you. “Support” in a campaign speech means “vote.” “Help” means “help.” The way you are forcing your daughter into a doomed marriage at such an early age, that’s an example of NOT helping, and it makes me wonder if you aren’t feeling a little heat on the seat of your own Valentino skirt.

The good news is that we at least know you read SOMETHING daily even if it is just a sentence on a paper cup that you still manage to get wrong, and not a newspaper.

Sarah: “Our opponent … is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country…This is not a man who sees America like you and I see America…We see America as a force of good in this world. We see an America of exceptionalism.”

Troy: “Palling around with terrorists?” Wow, let’s talk about how little character you must have to throw around an accusation like that, especially after the Associated Press, the New York Times and the CNN Fact Checker debunked those lies. Palling around with terrorist? Really? Isn’t that essentially accusing someone of treason? The more I imagine you saying that, the more convinced I am that you are the most craven and cynical candidate in years, which is especially disappointing to me given what a point you have made of your Christian faith.

So I’m curious, when Emporer Palpatine came to shrivel and kill any sense of honor you might have had, did it affect your skills as a parent? I don’t mean to sound sexist or anything, but does Valentino even make long black cloaks? I’ve always thought of them as the short skirt people. And isn’t it going to be difficult to take care of the kids with a misquoted Starbucks cup in one hand and a red light saber in the other?

No that’s silly, no one would ever ask a male candidate these questions. They MIGHT, however, ask any candidate why the McCain/Palpatine ticket can’t address the real issues that matter to Americans like the economy, healthcare, sustainable energy and a foreign policy that doesn’t require us to snub even our NATO allies! And the answer is because you have no answers.

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