Julie’s ANTM Redux

Dave's Beauty Shop

Julie stopped by for the night on her way back to Cleveland. She needed some cheering up so Dave, who was already coming over to watch America’s Next Top Model volunteered to play beauty shop. It was his contribution to the quest for Julie’s supreme weddin’ do. Sweet Belle’s gettin’ hitched in June (tears welling).

As Dave back-combed, 50 Cent dumped front runner for America’s Next Top Stalker, Jael in the pool. Dionne blubbered like a baby about her baby in front of Beverly Johnson who looked glamorous and stoic, like a really hot Easter Island head.

Even after a come to Jesus meeting with Tyra and the girls, Renee is still one creepy, insincere gesture away from starring in a straight-to-video remake of The Bad Seed.
Bad seed

Compared to these flibberty gibbets, Jaslene is starting to look like the president of U Mich’s Young Republicans chapter. She’s still fierce though, and I love her best. I want her to call me out of the blue at work one day and tell me how she nails every thing, always. I’d tell her, “Yes you do. And if Renee disses you one more time, you have my permission to trip her as she’s bends over to light a cigarette from one of those silly outdoor gas logs.”

Julie started channeling the models.

Jael
Jael

Renee
Renee

Jaslene
Jaslene

Sarah
Sarah

Sarah went home last Wednesday. Nice girl. She was a little too Sheboygan Soccer Mom for me though, so I wasn’t disappointed.

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9 Comments on “Julie’s ANTM Redux”

  1. lmb Says:

    Thank GOD Sarah and her nervous twitch went home this week. I don’t trust anybody that damn perky.

    And I so wanted to hate her, but Jaslene is really growing on me.

    But did the whole “choose your supermodel name” thing grate on anybody else? I am pretty sure some producer’s tween daughter came up with it. Because it definitely reminded me of being in the fourth and fifth grades, when we picked out cool new names for ourselves. Mine was pretty bad, but at least it wasn’t “Wholihay.”

  2. Troy Says:

    I like to think that the name game was not a stupid test, but actually a test of stupidity so that the girls who lose everything could win something for a change.

    You’re right Laura. NEVER start your personal brand name with the question, “who?”

    Meanwhile, you know Jaslene got a secret phone call from her drag queen family, “Girl, don’t do it. It’s a trick. We planned for this. We gave you your “one name” name at birth.”


  3. I am absolutely in stitches over this post. Me cheering JulieBelle up? Quite the contrary, she perked me up? Who wouldn’t love doing her hair. Your format on this post moved along so smoothly and then BAM! you knocked me over with these photos. She nailed it.

  4. Citizen D Says:

    I love that Julie channeled the models. I don’t think I could tolerate Sarah very long, though.

  5. jennie Says:

    Is there a picture of the completed wedding do? I wish I watched ANTM so I’d be able to appreciate the pictures more, but they were still very entertaining. I don’t think I would like Sarah very much, either.

  6. gunstreamgirl Says:

    every time i see the sarah pose i crack up. why was that last one so funny? i guess we needed to send her out with a bang.

    i have a wordpress account now!

  7. CRYSTAL Says:

    ya’ll aren’t right in the head…

  8. Katy Says:

    Love Dave’s creation for Julie, does he take appointments?

  9. jennie Says:

    I caught up this weekend on a marathon, and I don’t hate Renee. She’s my favorite. I’m sad that Julie’s portrayal made her look mean.


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