Strange Love Language: Writing about Kenny and Peyton
Peyton Manning and Kenny Chesney, I love ’em both. Obviously I don’t have to believe they are gay to love them, though it would be fine by me if they were.
I’ll go so far as to say I believe Peyton Manning isn’t gay. And if Kenny says he isn’t either, well, I’ll take his word for it. But can someone please explain to me why everything that is written about Peyton and Kenny as a couple sounds so stereotypically gaygity-gay-gay?
FromWZZK Country News:
Kenny Chesney Pulling (and Punting?) for Peyton on Sunday
Kenny Chesney says he will be in Miami to cheer on his longtime pal, Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts, during Sunday’s Super Bowl.
“These moments don’t come along very often,” Kenny says. “And Peyton’s always been great about coming out [What?] and hanging with me [Oh.] and the guys [You see, the guys are with us. We’re not a couple]. I wouldn’t miss his first Super Bowl for the world.” Besides “he promised me I could punt at least once,” Chesney says, laughing.
Yeah, Peyton is that tall drink of water in the picture to your right [I didn’t include the picture, but you can see it if you go to the link above], surprising Kenny on stage [That is so sweet.] during Chesney’s “The Road and the Radio” tour last year. Kenny and Peyton even did a song together for the 1998 album NFL Country! The two old friends collaborated on “Whatever It Takes,” a tune from Chesney’s 1994 debut album In My Wildest Dreams [They collaborated on a love song?].
We’ll see on Sunday if Peyton has “Whatever It Takes” to make his own “Wildest Dreams” come true [???–Am I taking crazy pills?].
Okay. Maybe I’m off base, but then there’s this from Jeff Legwold who covers the NFL at The Tennessean:
Guitars and Gridiron: Chesney, Manning Have Had Share of Hits
..Kenny Chesney has no shirt, no shoes and just one problem.
He has to find a television. ”The joys of a satellite dish,” Chesney said. ”I’ll find one somewhere, and I’ll get that game on. I have to check in and see how he is doing.”
”That game” is Titans-Colts. ”He” is Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. Chesney, whose No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problems CD has sold roughly 2.5 million copies, wants to see how ”one of my good buddies” [See how straight I am?] will fare against the Titans defense.
The 35-year-old Tennessee native, who had country music’s top grossing tour last year, and the 27-year-old former University of Tennessee star, a three-time Pro Bowl selection in the NFL, have spent the better part of eight years constructing a friendship, jamming it into two increasingly busy schedules [Eeek, I’ll skip that one.].
”We find the time,” Chesney [Jack] said. ”But the schedule is difficult on any relationship [Relationship? Do straight guys really talk like this?], whether it’s family, love life or a friendship. But we talk a lot, we try to keep it all together [What???]. I was just in Indianapolis for a celebrity bowling tournament he has, and when it was all over I just said, ‘OK, I’ll see you after the season.’ We both kind of just laugh about that…
[On meeting:] The two eventually hooked up for lunch. ”We’ve been buddies ever since,” Chesney said.
Manning estimated he’s been on stage with Chesney 20 times, unplugged guitar thrown over his shoulder, belting out the chorus to Don’t Happen Twice or one of Chesney’s other top-10 hits…
”I’m usually one of those guys who always pays my debts,” Manning said. ”But I haven’t gotten him into practice yet. Believe me, I’ve tried, the offer’s been there, but his schedule just hasn’t allowed for that. Kenny is a frustrated wide receiver [Please, does Legwold write for Mad Magazine, too?]. He loves football, but he never caught a touchdown. So hopefully we can get him out there with no pads and get him a touchdown.”
Manning tries to meet Chesney and his band on tour at least once during the NFL offseason and spends about three days on the road. He rides in Chesney’s tour bus, is onstage during the shows and even works out with Chesney [that is so sweet].
Manning wouldn’t mind touring more, but his wife Ashley [Oh yeah, my wife] ”is only going to let me get away with that for a few days.” [Hands off, Chesney! You ain’t woman enough to take my man.]…
Is it me? Have I read one too many gossip columns? Maybe authors are just hip to the rumor mill and think writing with veiled inuendo will sell papers. I suppose I may not understand the common language of the NFL. It could be that in our culture it’s just hard for us to not link super-close male friendship with gay folks, and maybe I’m just buying into that here, which would be kind of sad, since I have lots of close straight friends, oh, sorry, “relationships”. Oh well, whether its gay, straight, or graight, I think Kenny and Peyton’s relationship is awesome.